Standing there with his hand in yours you believe that it will last forever. You are high on love. He’s the perfect guy and you have intentions of being the perfect wife. You’re not going to argue and…
One day you wake up and feel like it is all a BIG FAT LIE! How did I fall for all those lies? Why did I stay so long? What am I going to do now? Your heart is beating so fast in your chest that you can barely catch your breath. Then that still small voice whispers between your tears. “TRUST ME.”
You respond, “I don’t know if I can. The last time I trusted someone they trampled on my heart and emotions like they were trash on the sidewalk. Promises were made that could not be kept. I did my best to cook, clean, take care of the kids, work, go to church, be a good daughter and friend... find grown-up time with my husband. I just needed some help to manage it all. I tried to be the PERFECT WIFE!
It was easier when the kids were younger because there were so many distractions. Making sure they were at all their sporting events and school events was a full-time job, but now they have grown up and we are left with all the conversations that were never had and things that were swept under the rug. I don’t even know this man that I pledged to love forever. Somewhere along the way, we lost sight of each other. He was doing his thing and I was doing mine… We seemed to be on one accord but that chord was easily broken.
“Trust Me!” there that voice goes again. Why it’s over. I’m done! You’re done but I’m not. What? I’ll take it from here. For the first time in months, you’re still… physically and mentally.
Coach!!! I know. I am not here to argue stay or go, but I am here to advocate for God’s Will in your life before you do something you will regret.
Have you tried everything - God, counseling, coaching, or a fresh start?
Do you know yourself and can you communicate your needs to your spouse in a way they can understand? Do you know your spouse in this place… Do you want to know them?
Is there any truth to what the other party is saying? Were they neglected or ridiculed in conversation?
Are you in a place of harm? It is going to be him or me because of mental, physical, emotional, or financial abuse?
Am I ready to forgive, learn, and move from this place?
Learn? Yes, learn. Everything we face in life brings a lesson that must be learned in order to not be in this place again. No more taking baggage from relationship to relationship. You will never be perfect without spot, blemish, or wrinkle, but you can be a mature wife… A Wise Wife that knows how to build in crisis.
